A Monday Morning Reminder

This morning as I drove to work, I saw a dead deer on the road and the remnants of a recent structure fire as the firefighters extinguished the last blaze. Both times I felt a familiar and immediate pang in my abdomen, a response to witnessing something both unfortunate and unsettling. And while I could have turned up the music, ignored the sensation in my gut, and kept driving, I allowed myself to feel into the very real pain arising within me. I placed a hand on my heart and breathed. It would have been easier to pretend I wasn’t feeling upset, but in my years of both clinical and mindfulness training, I’ve learned that running from lived experience denies a significant part of my being, my humanity. And in allowing myself to turn inward with compassion and presence, to touch sadness, anxiety, and existential dread, those feelings within me softened. Perhaps all they needed was a tender heart to hold them dear and allow them to just be, without trying to force them away, withdraw, or turn them into something they’re not.

Thai monk Ajahn Chah said that there are two kinds of suffering: the suffering you avoid and run from, which follows you everywhere like a shadow, and the suffering that, with courage, you face directly, and in doing so become free.

Today, I encourage you to turn toward your suffering with courage, to get to know its qualities and its textures. Allow the river of suffering to flow through you, to teach what it needs to, and to move onwards. Give every experience the dignity of existing, and from there use your discernment to decide how to move forward.

Warmly,

Julia